May 6, 2014 by Rita Hypnarowski

Bangkok: The Perfect Place to Unwind?

I know this: Bangkok is never going to make the list of top ten tranquil vacation destinations in the world. Suicidal tuk-tuk drivers, miles of sky-train soaring over one’s head, loud Thai folk music, gargantuan malls, canals cheerfully gargling with life, and enough shrine incense to get you high won’t exactly raise you to a Zen-like state. Instead, you’ll get so caught up in the activity around you that you’ll completely deprogram. What was so important in my life before I came to Bangkok? you’ll wonder.

Those candied colors and warm faces swirling around you will reassure you that everything you need to feel really good is right here. The tension will slowly leave your body and your headaches will become a thing of last week — I mean, of the past. Your heartburn will go away (as long as you stay off of Khao San Road) and your blood pressure will lower as smoothly as Buddha’s arm.

So why isn’t Bangkok on your short-list? Never mind, just take this virtual stroll with me.

On the stroll to the Golden Mount.

Bring your cash and your sense of humor!

You are delusional if you think these things come with seat belts.

You are delusional if you think these tuk-tuks come with seat belts.

Asiatique, new fixture in Bangkok.

Khao San Road, home to foreign mercenaries, missionaries, and misfits.

Khao San Road, home to motorcyclists, mercenaries, muggers, and misfits.

This is the view from the taxi, whose driver has never heard of Prozac.

This is the view from my taxi.

Be sure to wrap your expensive electronics in plastic on the streets, or a drive-by squirting may result in a panic attack.

Be sure to wrap your expensive electronics in plastic on the streets, or a drive-by squirting may result in your panic attack.

Another gorgeous shrine to help you relax.

The people who live here have never heard of Prozac.

The mystique of the monastery

Home sweet home on the Chao Phraya River.

You, too, can find inner peace under a gray sky.

Bangkok’s canals provide a restive retreat from the hectic pace of the cit — never mind, just get in.

I’d like my place of worship all in pastels, please. (Gosh my local church needs a makeover.)

Something about Buddha can just make you feel trippy.

Quintessential Thailand.

What Bangkok looks like when you're severely jet-lagged.

What Bangkok looks like when you’re still really jet-lagged. But at this point, you don’t care!

March 6, 2014 by Rita Hypnarowski

How to Find a Quiet Place to Relax in a Crowded Foreign City

Do you often come back from a trip and feel like you need a “vacation to recover from your vacation?” You’re not alone.

Many people feel this way because they didn’t let themselves decompress at any time while they were away. Given the greater emotional and physical energy exerted during a trip, it’s easy to feel drained or overstimulated during and after travel. Finding a tranquil place to relax and regroup during your trip is one of the most obvious ways to prevent mental or emotional burnout — and keep every day of your vacation feeling (almost) like the first day you arrived.

Unfortunately, traditional “quiet” places may turn into anything but if everyone else decides to go there for their own relaxation. Think of oceanside cafés that get so loud you can’t hear the waves washing up; well-known churches that sound like malls inside; and parks that put you in the path of an impromptu tag game – hardly anyone’s idea of peace. Don’t think you have to return to your hotel room mid-day, or wander into an isolated (and potentially dangerous) area in order to “get away from it all.” Here are a few universal, but often overlooked, places to unwind.

Botanical gardens. These can sound like a bore to those not interested in plants, but botanical gardens have all of the relaxing characteristics of parks, but because of the (usually) small entrance fee, attract a different crowd; your chances of encountering skateboarding teenagers, drunks, or soccer practice are slim to none. There is usually no shortage of places to sit down, and you can generally stay as long as you want after paying the day’s admission.

Universities. Many universities have the look and feel of self-sustaining villages, and you’d have a hard time finding one without some green areas and benches (and often a pond and some wildlife). Frat and sorority houses are less common outside North America, and while there’s obviously going to be plenty of activity on the main thoroughfares on weekdays, the overall atmosphere – especially on weekends – is subdued. Another plus is that many universities are easily accessed within metropolitan areas, and even the grounds of most private universities are open to anyone.

Zoos. You’d be hard pressed to find a zoo without an attractive, natural setting – and interacting with (or just watching) animals can quickly pull you out of your head and back into the moment. About half of all major world cities have a zoo within three miles of tourist areas. Try visiting on a weekday evening, or mid-afternoon after school groups have cleared out.

Embassy areas. These neighborhoods are particularly prominent in capital cities, and are often in easily accessible areas. Although there aren’t many places to sit down, they are certainly a great place for a quiet stroll. Embassy neighborhoods are rarely crowded, aesthetically pleasing, and you can let your guard down because security is second to none.

Stationed trains. Particularly in European cities, long-distance trains pull into a station well before departure – by an hour, and sometimes more (especially if your city is the route terminus). A parked train can be a very peaceful alternative to trying to rest your mind and feet in the chaotic main station hallway. I’ve done it many times and not been bothered by attendants or conductors (unlike airplanes, which are usually swept and cleaned after every flight, the usual train is only serviced at the end of the day).

Obviously, you need to make sure the train doesn’t roll away taking you someplace you don’t want to go, but the chances of this happening are minimal as you’ll notice people start trickling in about ten minutes before departure.

Off-hours and hideaways in hotels. After the maids have come through, and before the next round of guests check in, is an ideal time to get some peace in your hotel room, especially if it’s anything but tranquil in the evening and early morning. The ideal time window is usually between noon and three p.m.

If you’ve already checked out of a hotel, don’t feel bad about relaxing in the lobby a few hours after giving up your key. It’s unlikely that any hotel employee will ask you to leave just because you’re done and paid for; after all, they want you to come back on your next trip, and write a nice online review about your stay.

Finally, a surprising number of hotels – particularly in Europe – have rooftop terraces. These are often underutilized, because 1) guests aren’t aware of them, or 2) they simply forget to head up there. The terrace can be a great escape when everyone else on your floor seems to be checking in, or coming in and out of their rooms, at the same time. An added benefit is that you get to see the city from a bird’s-eye view, which can make it look less intimidating and give you a better perspective of where you are.

Airport quiet spots. For some peace and space, many people know to head to the waiting area of a deserted gate. Less commonly sought, but equally quiet places include interdenominational chapels (many international airports have one, and you don’t have to pray in order to use the room), and the lobbies of pre-check-in areas. Most people automatically rush to the check-in counter and through security when they arrive at the airport, passing by many empty waiting areas adjacent to the airline ticket counters.

It's not always practical to find a place like this to unwind, but there are still plenty of places to relax if you know where to look. ( Pictured: Suomenlinna, Helsinki, Finland.)

It’s not always realistic to find a place like this to unwind, but there are still plenty of places to relax out there — if you know where to look. (Pictured: Suomenlinna, Helsinki, Finland.)

January 26, 2014 by Rita Hypnarowski

Establishing Straightforward Relationships as a Foreigner: Understanding Types of Interactions, and Roles

It might be unnerving to think about negotiating with strangers for what you need and want on a trip. Asking for help, receiving services, or making arrangements with people you don’t know can expose you to a wide range of personalities, moods, cultural differences, and the occasional thoughtless or rude response. As a traveler, it helps to view your interactions as falling into one of two categories: 1) those that you have to initiate, and 2) those that the other person has to initiate. Another way to think of these respective categories is:

Those interactions that you can’t control, and
Those that you can.

Generally, if you’re paying for a service, then someone else has to initiate the interaction – and will likely do so in a courteous and sensitive manner (yes, I know, this is a very optimistic assumption!). Since as a tourist you are paying for a number of things including hotels, airfare, secondary transportation, and meals, the majority of your interactions will be those where the other person must approach you and offer what you need and want. Understanding this can go a long way towards mitigating your anxiety since breaking the ice with someone is almost always the most stressful aspect of an interaction. Let tour guides, waiters, bellhops, maids, flight attendants, and hotel receptionists do their jobs, and relax.

Examples of interactions that you usually initiate include those with taxi drivers; when asking for directions or help; when making reservations or arrangements you haven’t yet paid for; or with unresponsive service staff. If you’re like most people have some anxiety, you try to keep these interactions to a minimum – or resort to email for reservations or to file a complaint.

There are several scenarios where either you or another person may initiate an interaction, such as with store clerks, police or security, other guests, or other tourists. In some cases you’ll want or need something enough that you’ll broach someone whether it causes you anxiety or not; in other cases, someone may notice that you need something, or are having problems, and come to you. You’ll have to decide whether it causes you more stress to approach someone out of the blue, or wait a while to be approached.

Is there a correlation between how much money you spend and how much thought you have to put into interacting with others? Not necessarily. Although budget travelers are going to pay for fewer services and have to be more proactive in getting what they need, people who are traveling in luxury are going to have more discretion in their interactions with a large number of service people, and may spend a lot of time and energy concerned about how much to tip, who to call for a certain type of service, etc. Things are going to be most straightforward for middle-of-the-road travelers.

Roles you play

There are basically three roles you play as a tourist. These are:

Customer;
Guest in country; and
Fellow tourist.

Once you realize that this is how others see you, you may lose a lot of fear of interacting with others. Here are some things to be aware of regarding each of your roles.

Customer. Despite your status as a paid customer at a hotel or on a flight, train, ship, etc., you might encounter some unwarranted negativity from service people that causes you distress. It may seem obvious, but different service people will have different attitudes toward tourists. Many are in their jobs because they enjoy interacting with people around the globe; others are frustrated with working for low wages, and resent that you have the means to vacation thousands of miles away.

If you’re stuck in a days-long arrangement with stress-inducing service staff, try softening them up by getting their mind off work. You can usually do this by talking about what you love about their city, compared to what you don’t like at home. Frustrated people want to rediscover their surroundings, or see that they have things better than they realized – and curiosity about what your home country is really like often gets the better of their unfriendliness.

Guest in country. If you wander off the typical tourist path, you may interact with the people of your host country outside of just the service sector. This could be at a supermarket, a bus stop, or a post office, where – depending on how provincial your destination is – you could be stared at or treated as something of a novelty. Friendly and curious people can cause you to feel very awkward without intending to. If their attention or scrutiny causes you anxiety, remember that you have a lot of control at the start of an interaction with someone, but the longer you engage, the less you’re able to deny invitations or queries without stress. Do your share of smiling and excusing yourself – and move on with your business.

There are plenty of stories about Americans (and a lot fewer about Canadians) who are openly derided or snubbed abroad, but if you’re traveling alone or with only one other person, you’re far more likely to be judged as an individual rather than subject to stereotypes. Some of the personality traits that are common among anxiety sufferers, such as being reserved and sensitive to the needs of others, work against the usual stereotypes applied to Americans, and in your favor.

Fellow tourist. Consider this: you’re more likely to have an unpleasant experience with other tourists than with service personnel or locals. This is because you’re essentially competing with other tourists for the best seats, space, or attention wherever you go. People from different cultures may demonstrate a variety of impatient or aggressive responses when it comes to seeing what they want to see, and going where they need to go. Keep in mind that your public behavior may be equally unfamiliar to them, and may even come off as arrogant or threatening, even if this is the last thing you intend and you’re behaving like you always would.

Despite these challenges, you should be prepared to occasionally interact with other tourists to get what you need or want. You may need to use someone else’s phone because your battery has gone dead, or you could need a couple bills of the local currency because the local TravelExchange kiosk doesn’t open for hours. The basic rule is to not expect any favors from other tourists. If you need something, you should have something to offer in exchange. This could be, for example:

Your still-valid metro ticket in exchange for someone’s map;

A camera trade to take pictures of each other in front of landmarks; or

A couple Euros in exchange for using their cell phone for a few minutes.

Making it clear what you have to offer, and what you would like in exchange, makes it difficult for the other person to say no, yet doesn’t make you come off as pushy or demanding.

On the shuttle bus from Buenos Aires to the cruise port. Do you folks mind moving over so I'm not standing on the red line?

On the shuttle bus from Buenos Aires cruise check-in to the Celebrity port. Would you folks mind moving your luggage so I’m not standing on the red line when the door opens?

September 22, 2013 by Rita Hypnarowski

Are You a Dromomaniac? — The Ten Most Common Manias that Affect Travelers

Are you a dromomaniac (insatiable traveler)? Of course you are — if you weren’t a xenomaniac (inquisitive folk obsessed with foreign things and places) you wouldn’t be reading this. You’ve come to the right travel blog to find out if you’re a opsomaniac, sophomaniac, or oniomaniac when you go abroad — and how to recognize when your obsession will no longer fit under your seat or in the overhead compartment. Hold on tight to your passport and put in the back of your head what your mother or spiritual guru told you about doing “everything in moderation.” The real question is, how come our travel agents (or at least Travelocity’s Roaming Gnome) didn’t warn us about the top ten travel manias that can make us feel like out-and-out maniamaniacs?*

1. Ecdemomania: chronic and uncontrollable urge to wander. It’s not enough that you indulge your travel lust to come to a place thousands of miles away; once you’re there, you can’t even sit still at your hotel, stay with your tour group, or resist following strangely-dressed locals down narrow alleyways.

2. Epomania: obsession with writing epics. Becomes apparent when 1) your travel blog posts reach 5,000 words each, 2) you’re starting to get data storage warnings from WordPress, or 3) one of your followers discreetly suggests that just because you’re on vacation, they don’t have all the time in the world to read every blow-by-blow.

3. Oniomania: insatiable desire to shop. Rears its ugly head after you’ve swam, boogied, eaten, boozed, and tangoed your way across your charming but claustrophobic resort town, and have nothin’ else left to try.

4. Phagomania: excessive desire for food or eating. Becomes obvious when you’re 1) dining out twice in the same evening, 2) are buying more Immodium AD than Dramamine at that skanky pharmacy down from your hotel, or 3) need to work off your oniomania at the nearest clothing store since nothing you brought with you on the trip quite fits anymore.

5. Sophomania: gluttonous belief in one’s own incredible intelligence. At its most obvious after you’ve figured out (all in the same day) how to operate an eco-toilet, hundred-year-old elevator, Azerbaijan-made bathtub faucet, and ATM machine that you would never, ever find at home.

6. Doromania: obsession with giving or buying gifts. Crops up towards the end of your trip after you’ve spent two paychecks on things for yourself, and have one Athenian shopping street, two Turkish bazaars, and three very long airport terminals to wander through before the signature on the back of your credit card actually starts to wear off.

7. Opsomania: obsession with one kind of food. Develops after feasting on the beloved culinary specialty of your host country for lunch and dinner every single day — especially after you remember that the most exotic thing you’re going to find to eat back home is an enchilada.

8. Islomania: fixation on islands. Becomes more obvious after you’ve gallivanted through New Zealand, Tahiti, Hawaii, and Japan, and have your restless eye now set on The Philippines, Sicily, Iceland, or Fiji.

9. Verbomania: fixation with words. Becomes apparent when, after failing to learn a single syllable of the local language, you scrounge for five adjectives of the same English word in the hopes that your provincial B&B host will understand one of them.

Unfortunately, there’s no diagnostic term for 10. shutterbugomania, an obsession with taking pictures. But, if you can identify where this photo of all the photos was taken, you’ll win a FREE copy of The Anxious Traveler.

*Important note: this post is intended to offer some lighthearted fun following the tension and stress that most travelers suffer this time of year because of the 9/11 anniversary. It’s not intended to diminish the seriousness of any mania that is interfering with your life, or the impact of bipolar disorder on mental health. If you believe you are suffering from manic depression/bipolar disorder, you should consult a doctor.