July 13, 2014 by Rita Anya Nara

How to Relax in Russia: Some Tasty Suggestions

Mmm. Russia isn’t anyone’s idea of a great place to de-stress these days, is it? War… invasions… questionable allies… political incorrectness up the yin-yang…nasty stewardesses on Aeroflot… I mean, how do you spell anxiety in Cyrillic?

Perhaps the path to inner peace in Russia is not through its heart, but its stomach. Look around on your next real or virtual visit to the Matryoshka Motherland, and feast your eyes — and your soul. Much of its two urban gems, Moscow and St. Peterburg, are pretty enough to eat. And when I say “pretty,” I mean that the czars of times past didn’t exactly hold back on the sumptuous domes, cake-grade colors, and sugary paint. So the next time Putin’s ugly mug gives you indigestion, try biting off a piece of Russia’s calorie-laden beauty… your blood pressure (if not your glucose levels) will plummet.

Raspberry swirl meets dark chocolate and caramel. (St. Petersburg)

The Bolshoi ballerinas don’t eat much, but you can gorge on their pastel palace (The Bolshoi Theater, Moscow)

Russian take on the Gingerbread House? (Red Square, Moscow)

Somewhere, a wedding is missing the top of its cake (Smolniy Convent, St. Petersburg)

Pour me a river of chocolate syrup to enjoy this one (Neva River, Moscow)

I would like my three scoops of scenery with extra sprinkles, please. (Novodevichiy Convent, Moscow)

Another cupcake, please — just go easy on the frosting. (St. Basil’s Cathedral, Moscow)

This peach pastry just needs some vanilla wafers (Kazan Cathedral, Moscow)

Jell-O has never tasted this good (outside Red Square, Moscow)

Forget the mint icing; I’ll take this one with brown sugar (Red Square, Moscow)

A spy’s fantasy of the perfect lemon tart? (Peter and Paul Fortress, St. Petersburg)

May 6, 2014 by Rita Anya Nara

Bangkok: The Perfect Place to Unwind?

I know this: Bangkok is never going to make the list of top ten tranquil vacation destinations in the world. Suicidal tuk-tuk drivers, miles of sky-train soaring over one’s head, loud Thai folk music, gargantuan malls, canals cheerfully gargling with life, and enough shrine incense to get you high won’t exactly raise you to a Zen-like state. Instead, you’ll get so caught up in the activity around you that you’ll completely deprogram. What was so important in my life before I came to Bangkok? you’ll wonder.

Those candied colors and warm faces swirling around you will reassure you that everything you need to feel really good is right here. The tension will slowly leave your body and your headaches will become a thing of last week — I mean, of the past. Your heartburn will go away (as long as you stay off of Khao San Road) and your blood pressure will lower as smoothly as Buddha’s arm.

So why isn’t Bangkok on your short-list? Never mind, just take this virtual stroll with me.

On the stroll to the Golden Mount.

Bring your cash and your sense of humor!

You are delusional if you think these things come with seat belts.

You are delusional if you think these tuk-tuks come with seat belts.

Asiatique, new fixture in Bangkok.

Khao San Road, home to foreign mercenaries, missionaries, and misfits.

Khao San Road, home to motorcyclists, mercenaries, muggers, and misfits.

This is the view from the taxi, whose driver has never heard of Prozac.

This is the view from my taxi.

Be sure to wrap your expensive electronics in plastic on the streets, or a drive-by squirting may result in a panic attack.

Be sure to wrap your expensive electronics in plastic on the streets, or a drive-by squirting may result in your panic attack.

Another gorgeous shrine to help you relax.

The people who live here have never heard of Prozac.

The mystique of the monastery

Home sweet home on the Chao Phraya River.

You, too, can find inner peace under a gray sky.

Bangkok’s canals provide a restive retreat from the hectic pace of the cit — never mind, just get in.

I’d like my place of worship all in pastels, please. (Gosh my local church needs a makeover.)

Something about Buddha can just make you feel trippy.

Quintessential Thailand.

What Bangkok looks like when you're severely jet-lagged.

What Bangkok looks like when you’re still really jet-lagged. But at this point, you don’t care!

September 22, 2013 by Rita Anya Nara

Are You a Dromomaniac? — The Ten Most Common Manias that Affect Travelers

Are you a dromomaniac (insatiable traveler)? Of course you are — if you weren’t a xenomaniac (inquisitive folk obsessed with foreign things and places) you wouldn’t be reading this. You’ve come to the right travel blog to find out if you’re a opsomaniac, sophomaniac, or oniomaniac when you go abroad — and how to recognize when your obsession will no longer fit under your seat or in the overhead compartment. Hold on tight to your passport and put in the back of your head what your mother or spiritual guru told you about doing “everything in moderation.” The real question is, how come our travel agents (or at least Travelocity’s Roaming Gnome) didn’t warn us about the top ten travel manias that can make us feel like out-and-out maniamaniacs?*

1. Ecdemomania: chronic and uncontrollable urge to wander. It’s not enough that you indulge your travel lust to come to a place thousands of miles away; once you’re there, you can’t even sit still at your hotel, stay with your tour group, or resist following strangely-dressed locals down narrow alleyways.

2. Epomania: obsession with writing epics. Becomes apparent when 1) your travel blog posts reach 5,000 words each, 2) you’re starting to get data storage warnings from WordPress, or 3) one of your followers discreetly suggests that just because you’re on vacation, they don’t have all the time in the world to read every blow-by-blow.

3. Oniomania: insatiable desire to shop. Rears its ugly head after you’ve swam, boogied, eaten, boozed, and tangoed your way across your charming but claustrophobic resort town, and have nothin’ else left to try.

4. Phagomania: excessive desire for food or eating. Becomes obvious when you’re 1) dining out twice in the same evening, 2) are buying more Immodium AD than Dramamine at that skanky pharmacy down from your hotel, or 3) need to work off your oniomania at the nearest clothing store since nothing you brought with you on the trip quite fits anymore.

5. Sophomania: gluttonous belief in one’s own incredible intelligence. At its most obvious after you’ve figured out (all in the same day) how to operate an eco-toilet, hundred-year-old elevator, Azerbaijan-made bathtub faucet, and ATM machine that you would never, ever find at home.

6. Doromania: obsession with giving or buying gifts. Crops up towards the end of your trip after you’ve spent two paychecks on things for yourself, and have one Athenian shopping street, two Turkish bazaars, and three very long airport terminals to wander through before the signature on the back of your credit card actually starts to wear off.

7. Opsomania: obsession with one kind of food. Develops after feasting on the beloved culinary specialty of your host country for lunch and dinner every single day — especially after you remember that the most exotic thing you’re going to find to eat back home is an enchilada.

8. Islomania: fixation on islands. Becomes more obvious after you’ve gallivanted through New Zealand, Tahiti, Hawaii, and Japan, and have your restless eye now set on The Philippines, Sicily, Iceland, or Fiji.

9. Verbomania: fixation with words. Becomes apparent when, after failing to learn a single syllable of the local language, you scrounge for five adjectives of the same English word in the hopes that your provincial B&B host will understand one of them.

Unfortunately, there’s no diagnostic term for 10. shutterbugomania, an obsession with taking pictures. But, if you can identify where this photo of all the photos was taken, you’ll win a FREE copy of The Anxious Traveler.

*Important note: this post is intended to offer some lighthearted fun following the tension and stress that most travelers suffer this time of year because of the 9/11 anniversary. It’s not intended to diminish the seriousness of any mania that is interfering with your life, or the impact of bipolar disorder on mental health. If you believe you are suffering from manic depression/bipolar disorder, you should consult a doctor.

September 15, 2013 by Rita Anya Nara

The Top 12 Travel Phobias You May Very Well Have, and Didn’t Even Realize!

Well, summer’s over. Got post-vacation depression? Are you broke and tired? Does the sound of falling leaves remind you of the sweet swish of your passport pages turning? Now’s the time to lighten up, do some soul-searching, and take a really close look at some of the fears you may have sadly developed over the course of your recent international escapades.

Sure, you may know you have aviatophobia (fear of flying), claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces), xenophobia (fear of strangers), and mysophobia (fear of germs); those are all pretty common and boring. What about all those other angst-inducing scenarios and situations that crop up as often as ridiculously cheap fares on Orbitz? They’ve probably given you a tic or two, whether you want to admit it or not. Let’s look at twelve real, honest-to-God, official phobias identified by scientists, psychologists, and very renowned researchers (probably ones that don’t do much traveling) that can develop when you’re vagabonding the globe. You’ll find that they’re really nothing to laugh about!

12. Nomophobia: fear of being out of mobile phone contact. Develops after you 1) find yourself repeatedly lost, late, drunk, or confused; 2) have once again left your cruise partner behind at the last shore excursion; or 3) are waiting to hear back from MasterCard about doubling your credit card limit now that you’re on vacation.

11. Agyrophobia: fear of crossing the road. Of particular prominence in India, Brazil, Belarus, Azerbaijan, and other places where smiling drivers drive a perfect 40 mph in the 40 km/hr zone, use their horn only in emergencies, and wave you across the pedestrian crosswalk with all five fingers.

10. Autophobia: fear of being alone or isolated. Develops after repeatedly encountering closed currency exchange counters, boarded-up travel info help desks, and hotel rooftop access doors that automatically lock from the inside.

9. Pedophobia: fear/dislike of children. Of particular concern when 1) taking your middle seat on a 12-hour flight next to a screamer, across from a babbler, and behind a squealer, or 2) realizing that the average age of the other guests at your “family friendly” hotel is about ten years old.

8. Emetophobia: fear of vomiting. At its most intense when, once again, you strike up a conversation with the beautiful person next to you after you’ve consumed vodka during turbulence.

7. Decidophobia: fear of making decisions. At its worst when your new, drunken travel partner is relying on you to find the safest way back to the hostel at 2 am, and you have no more Euros.

6. Ipovlopsychophobia: fear of having one’s photograph taken. This is for you, ladies. Symptoms occur after 1) the airline once again leaves behind your checked bag containing your makeup tote, 2) you’ve finally noticed the hotel security cameras, or 3) you realize your father is following your boyfriend’s blog.

5. Halitophobia: fear of bad breath. At its most wretched when exceeding the standing room capacity of buses; in Rome, in August, during a heat wave; and when having to make an emergency trip to a dentist in the Middle East.

4. Sesquipedalophobia: fear of long words. Particularly prominent when trying to read the menu at a tourist-unfriendly exotic little restaurant you’re dining at with an attractive local you just picked up.

3. Disposophobia: fear of getting rid of or losing things. Severe symptoms occur after you’ve been pickpocketed, mugged, and had a bad experience with a bellhop all on the same trip.

2. Chronophobia: fear of time and time moving forward. Of particular concern when you start receiving airline departure check-in reminders, your coworkers start calling you, and/or you can’t even remember the beginning of your trip.

and the number one under-recognized travel phobia is …
1. Phobophobia: fear of having a phobia or fear. Because the last thing you want to find out when you’re trying to have yourself a *$#&% good time somewhere is that you have yet another new hang-up!

Honorable mention phobia: Ophthalmophobia (fear of being stared at, especially when you’re just trying to make sense of the local culture)