June 21, 2014 by Rita Hypnarowski

Brunei: The Misunderstood Country You’ve Never Heard of

Many people have never heard of the tiny country of Brunei, a conservative Muslim state bordering Malaysia on the island of Borneo. Brunei is beautiful, rich, unspoiled, and at the heart of a controversy. I was fortunate to be able to travel to Brunei this spring, only a couple of weeks before it made international headlines for its plans to implement shariah law in the country. All of a sudden, the Sultanate of Brunei was not just an attractive vacation destination but one of only a handful of countries in the world to support such punishments as flogging, stoning, and amputation for crimes ranging from abortion, theft, adultery, and homosexuality. Even the likes of Jay Leno and Ellen DeGeneres got in on the Brunei-bashing after the media learned that the Sultan of Brunei owns several large hotels around the world — one you may have even stayed in.

The Sultan of Brunei doesn’t care what the world thinks; he wants shariah law for his country, and he runs an absolute monarchy. It’s ghastly for most of us to think of the kind of punishments his judges are ready to dole out to offenders. But did I think about stoning, amputation, and flogging while I was wandering around Bandar Seri Begawan, Brunei’s capital? Nope. I felt like I was in a fairy-tale land of gorgeous architecture, polite hosts, and peace and quiet. Mind you, I’m not exactly the kind of person, or tourist, that Brunei (or Islam) may want to encourage: single, female, childless, wandering around on her own with a map and a credit card. Yet (as long as I had the headscarf on) I was treated with respect, kindness, and asked how I liked the tiny country that no one in North America seems to have heard of.

Do I agree with shariah law? No, but I respect Brunei’s decision to implement it; it’s their country. I sincerely hope that it doesn’t scare away tourists, incite anger against Islam, or forever scar Brunei’s image as the “Gateway to Borneo.” Hey, are you going to get an abortion, commit adultery with a Muslim, steal, or cross-dress on your week-long vacation to Borneo? And, if so, do you really think those shariah laws are going to apply to you? Answer to both questions: mmm, probably not. So don’t forever cross Brunei off your list because of sociopolitical reasons. Not only will you be missing out on Borneo, but you’ll never see some of the most stunning architecture in Southeast Asia.

The vision-of-white Omar Ali Saifuddien Mosque gleams in the sunlight

Celebrating its independence from Britain in 1984

Brunei only declared its independence as a country in 1984, which might have something to do with its continued struggle for identity

For better or worse, the sheer beauty of Islam's art and architecture distract me from its debates and growing pains

For better or worse, the sheer beauty of Islam’s art and architecture can distract you from its debates and growing pains

The Omar Ali Saifuddien Mosque glows at dawn and dusk

The Omar Ali glows at dawn and dusk

I cannot fully imagine living somewhere where I could be handed a sentence of stoning or amputation. Can you?

There are little signs of life at the Lagoon in downtown Bandar on a beautiful weekday afternoon…

But, life goes on for the 400,000 residents of Brunei, one-third of whom are not Muslim.

May 6, 2014 by Rita Hypnarowski

Bangkok: The Perfect Place to Unwind?

I know this: Bangkok is never going to make the list of top ten tranquil vacation destinations in the world. Suicidal tuk-tuk drivers, miles of sky-train soaring over one’s head, loud Thai folk music, gargantuan malls, canals cheerfully gargling with life, and enough shrine incense to get you high won’t exactly raise you to a Zen-like state. Instead, you’ll get so caught up in the activity around you that you’ll completely deprogram. What was so important in my life before I came to Bangkok? you’ll wonder.

Those candied colors and warm faces swirling around you will reassure you that everything you need to feel really good is right here. The tension will slowly leave your body and your headaches will become a thing of last week — I mean, of the past. Your heartburn will go away (as long as you stay off of Khao San Road) and your blood pressure will lower as smoothly as Buddha’s arm.

So why isn’t Bangkok on your short-list? Never mind, just take this virtual stroll with me.

On the stroll to the Golden Mount.

Bring your cash and your sense of humor!

You are delusional if you think these things come with seat belts.

You are delusional if you think these tuk-tuks come with seat belts.

Asiatique, new fixture in Bangkok.

Khao San Road, home to foreign mercenaries, missionaries, and misfits.

Khao San Road, home to motorcyclists, mercenaries, muggers, and misfits.

This is the view from the taxi, whose driver has never heard of Prozac.

This is the view from my taxi.

Be sure to wrap your expensive electronics in plastic on the streets, or a drive-by squirting may result in a panic attack.

Be sure to wrap your expensive electronics in plastic on the streets, or a drive-by squirting may result in your panic attack.

Another gorgeous shrine to help you relax.

The people who live here have never heard of Prozac.

The mystique of the monastery

Home sweet home on the Chao Phraya River.

You, too, can find inner peace under a gray sky.

Bangkok’s canals provide a restive retreat from the hectic pace of the cit — never mind, just get in.

I’d like my place of worship all in pastels, please. (Gosh my local church needs a makeover.)

Something about Buddha can just make you feel trippy.

Quintessential Thailand.

What Bangkok looks like when you're severely jet-lagged.

What Bangkok looks like when you’re still really jet-lagged. But at this point, you don’t care!

March 6, 2014 by Rita Hypnarowski

How to Find a Quiet Place to Relax in a Crowded Foreign City

Do you often come back from a trip and feel like you need a “vacation to recover from your vacation?” You’re not alone.

Many people feel this way because they didn’t let themselves decompress at any time while they were away. Given the greater emotional and physical energy exerted during a trip, it’s easy to feel drained or overstimulated during and after travel. Finding a tranquil place to relax and regroup during your trip is one of the most obvious ways to prevent mental or emotional burnout — and keep every day of your vacation feeling (almost) like the first day you arrived.

Unfortunately, traditional “quiet” places may turn into anything but if everyone else decides to go there for their own relaxation. Think of oceanside cafés that get so loud you can’t hear the waves washing up; well-known churches that sound like malls inside; and parks that put you in the path of an impromptu tag game – hardly anyone’s idea of peace. Don’t think you have to return to your hotel room mid-day, or wander into an isolated (and potentially dangerous) area in order to “get away from it all.” Here are a few universal, but often overlooked, places to unwind.

Botanical gardens. These can sound like a bore to those not interested in plants, but botanical gardens have all of the relaxing characteristics of parks, but because of the (usually) small entrance fee, attract a different crowd; your chances of encountering skateboarding teenagers, drunks, or soccer practice are slim to none. There is usually no shortage of places to sit down, and you can generally stay as long as you want after paying the day’s admission.

Universities. Many universities have the look and feel of self-sustaining villages, and you’d have a hard time finding one without some green areas and benches (and often a pond and some wildlife). Frat and sorority houses are less common outside North America, and while there’s obviously going to be plenty of activity on the main thoroughfares on weekdays, the overall atmosphere – especially on weekends – is subdued. Another plus is that many universities are easily accessed within metropolitan areas, and even the grounds of most private universities are open to anyone.

Zoos. You’d be hard pressed to find a zoo without an attractive, natural setting – and interacting with (or just watching) animals can quickly pull you out of your head and back into the moment. About half of all major world cities have a zoo within three miles of tourist areas. Try visiting on a weekday evening, or mid-afternoon after school groups have cleared out.

Embassy areas. These neighborhoods are particularly prominent in capital cities, and are often in easily accessible areas. Although there aren’t many places to sit down, they are certainly a great place for a quiet stroll. Embassy neighborhoods are rarely crowded, aesthetically pleasing, and you can let your guard down because security is second to none.

Stationed trains. Particularly in European cities, long-distance trains pull into a station well before departure – by an hour, and sometimes more (especially if your city is the route terminus). A parked train can be a very peaceful alternative to trying to rest your mind and feet in the chaotic main station hallway. I’ve done it many times and not been bothered by attendants or conductors (unlike airplanes, which are usually swept and cleaned after every flight, the usual train is only serviced at the end of the day).

Obviously, you need to make sure the train doesn’t roll away taking you someplace you don’t want to go, but the chances of this happening are minimal as you’ll notice people start trickling in about ten minutes before departure.

Off-hours and hideaways in hotels. After the maids have come through, and before the next round of guests check in, is an ideal time to get some peace in your hotel room, especially if it’s anything but tranquil in the evening and early morning. The ideal time window is usually between noon and three p.m.

If you’ve already checked out of a hotel, don’t feel bad about relaxing in the lobby a few hours after giving up your key. It’s unlikely that any hotel employee will ask you to leave just because you’re done and paid for; after all, they want you to come back on your next trip, and write a nice online review about your stay.

Finally, a surprising number of hotels – particularly in Europe – have rooftop terraces. These are often underutilized, because 1) guests aren’t aware of them, or 2) they simply forget to head up there. The terrace can be a great escape when everyone else on your floor seems to be checking in, or coming in and out of their rooms, at the same time. An added benefit is that you get to see the city from a bird’s-eye view, which can make it look less intimidating and give you a better perspective of where you are.

Airport quiet spots. For some peace and space, many people know to head to the waiting area of a deserted gate. Less commonly sought, but equally quiet places include interdenominational chapels (many international airports have one, and you don’t have to pray in order to use the room), and the lobbies of pre-check-in areas. Most people automatically rush to the check-in counter and through security when they arrive at the airport, passing by many empty waiting areas adjacent to the airline ticket counters.

It's not always practical to find a place like this to unwind, but there are still plenty of places to relax if you know where to look. ( Pictured: Suomenlinna, Helsinki, Finland.)

It’s not always realistic to find a place like this to unwind, but there are still plenty of places to relax out there — if you know where to look. (Pictured: Suomenlinna, Helsinki, Finland.)

January 26, 2014 by Rita Hypnarowski

Establishing Straightforward Relationships as a Foreigner: Understanding Types of Interactions, and Roles

It might be unnerving to think about negotiating with strangers for what you need and want on a trip. Asking for help, receiving services, or making arrangements with people you don’t know can expose you to a wide range of personalities, moods, cultural differences, and the occasional thoughtless or rude response. As a traveler, it helps to view your interactions as falling into one of two categories: 1) those that you have to initiate, and 2) those that the other person has to initiate. Another way to think of these respective categories is:

Those interactions that you can’t control, and
Those that you can.

Generally, if you’re paying for a service, then someone else has to initiate the interaction – and will likely do so in a courteous and sensitive manner (yes, I know, this is a very optimistic assumption!). Since as a tourist you are paying for a number of things including hotels, airfare, secondary transportation, and meals, the majority of your interactions will be those where the other person must approach you and offer what you need and want. Understanding this can go a long way towards mitigating your anxiety since breaking the ice with someone is almost always the most stressful aspect of an interaction. Let tour guides, waiters, bellhops, maids, flight attendants, and hotel receptionists do their jobs, and relax.

Examples of interactions that you usually initiate include those with taxi drivers; when asking for directions or help; when making reservations or arrangements you haven’t yet paid for; or with unresponsive service staff. If you’re like most people have some anxiety, you try to keep these interactions to a minimum – or resort to email for reservations or to file a complaint.

There are several scenarios where either you or another person may initiate an interaction, such as with store clerks, police or security, other guests, or other tourists. In some cases you’ll want or need something enough that you’ll broach someone whether it causes you anxiety or not; in other cases, someone may notice that you need something, or are having problems, and come to you. You’ll have to decide whether it causes you more stress to approach someone out of the blue, or wait a while to be approached.

Is there a correlation between how much money you spend and how much thought you have to put into interacting with others? Not necessarily. Although budget travelers are going to pay for fewer services and have to be more proactive in getting what they need, people who are traveling in luxury are going to have more discretion in their interactions with a large number of service people, and may spend a lot of time and energy concerned about how much to tip, who to call for a certain type of service, etc. Things are going to be most straightforward for middle-of-the-road travelers.

Roles you play

There are basically three roles you play as a tourist. These are:

Customer;
Guest in country; and
Fellow tourist.

Once you realize that this is how others see you, you may lose a lot of fear of interacting with others. Here are some things to be aware of regarding each of your roles.

Customer. Despite your status as a paid customer at a hotel or on a flight, train, ship, etc., you might encounter some unwarranted negativity from service people that causes you distress. It may seem obvious, but different service people will have different attitudes toward tourists. Many are in their jobs because they enjoy interacting with people around the globe; others are frustrated with working for low wages, and resent that you have the means to vacation thousands of miles away.

If you’re stuck in a days-long arrangement with stress-inducing service staff, try softening them up by getting their mind off work. You can usually do this by talking about what you love about their city, compared to what you don’t like at home. Frustrated people want to rediscover their surroundings, or see that they have things better than they realized – and curiosity about what your home country is really like often gets the better of their unfriendliness.

Guest in country. If you wander off the typical tourist path, you may interact with the people of your host country outside of just the service sector. This could be at a supermarket, a bus stop, or a post office, where – depending on how provincial your destination is – you could be stared at or treated as something of a novelty. Friendly and curious people can cause you to feel very awkward without intending to. If their attention or scrutiny causes you anxiety, remember that you have a lot of control at the start of an interaction with someone, but the longer you engage, the less you’re able to deny invitations or queries without stress. Do your share of smiling and excusing yourself – and move on with your business.

There are plenty of stories about Americans (and a lot fewer about Canadians) who are openly derided or snubbed abroad, but if you’re traveling alone or with only one other person, you’re far more likely to be judged as an individual rather than subject to stereotypes. Some of the personality traits that are common among anxiety sufferers, such as being reserved and sensitive to the needs of others, work against the usual stereotypes applied to Americans, and in your favor.

Fellow tourist. Consider this: you’re more likely to have an unpleasant experience with other tourists than with service personnel or locals. This is because you’re essentially competing with other tourists for the best seats, space, or attention wherever you go. People from different cultures may demonstrate a variety of impatient or aggressive responses when it comes to seeing what they want to see, and going where they need to go. Keep in mind that your public behavior may be equally unfamiliar to them, and may even come off as arrogant or threatening, even if this is the last thing you intend and you’re behaving like you always would.

Despite these challenges, you should be prepared to occasionally interact with other tourists to get what you need or want. You may need to use someone else’s phone because your battery has gone dead, or you could need a couple bills of the local currency because the local TravelExchange kiosk doesn’t open for hours. The basic rule is to not expect any favors from other tourists. If you need something, you should have something to offer in exchange. This could be, for example:

Your still-valid metro ticket in exchange for someone’s map;

A camera trade to take pictures of each other in front of landmarks; or

A couple Euros in exchange for using their cell phone for a few minutes.

Making it clear what you have to offer, and what you would like in exchange, makes it difficult for the other person to say no, yet doesn’t make you come off as pushy or demanding.

On the shuttle bus from Buenos Aires to the cruise port. Do you folks mind moving over so I'm not standing on the red line?

On the shuttle bus from Buenos Aires cruise check-in to the Celebrity port. Would you folks mind moving your luggage so I’m not standing on the red line when the door opens?

December 10, 2013 by Rita Hypnarowski

How to Travel on a Special Diet

Lactose intolerance. Gluten-free diets. Low-sodium diets. Any one of dozens of food allergies… and more. Plenty of us are on a special diet or have restrictions on what we can eat, often for medical reasons. Some people won’t even go on long trips abroad because they’re justifiably worried that a meal could send them to the hospital — or leave them stranded in the bathroom of the Holiday Inn. One thing is for sure: anxiety over what we eat far from home isn’t limited to concerns about food poisoning or an upset stomach. If you find that eating abroad causes you a lot of stress, you might find the following tips helpful.

Research local dishes before you go. Part of the highlight of going to places like South Africa, Peru, or Mongolia is to try different food — and your food allergy or diet restriction threaten to hamper your culinary exploration. Learn more about what people eat where you’re going, before you go, to find a popular dish that will fit your diet. Try going to http://www.eatyourworld.com for more information by country and region. At the very least, you can find out the ingredients in several dishes, the various types of preparations, and what to definitely avoid.

Book a hotel room or suite with a kitchenette. These don’t have to be expensive, and are more prevalent overseas than you may think. Many such hotels are found where the tourist areas meet residential districts, which means that a supermarket is usually just down the street. I’ve noted that such hotels, though, can be very fussy about requesting that you clean up the kitchen, completely, before you go out for the day (presumably to avoid possible pest nuisances), so be prepared to do “kitchen duty” before you go out sightseeing.

When eating out, stick with basic foods. The less sauce, fixings, and “concoction recipes” you indulge in, the safer you’ll be — even if it takes some of the fun out of it. The best choices include plain vegetables, grilled chicken or fish, and plain rice or pasta. The waitress will give you a bored look, but at least you’ll be able to see her again the next evening for dinner.

Don’t make assumptions at globalized restaurants. Is it true that a burger you order at McDonald’s or TGI Friday’s abroad is 99% similar to what you get at your favorite chain at home? Absolutely — and it’s that 1% difference that could wreak havoc on your system. One minor additive from a local source can make you ill, so start out with small portions at that Burger King in Siberia or Hong Kong to see if you have a reaction.

Remind the airline before you board that you ordered a special meal. How many passengers have been vexed by flight attendants who come down the narrow aisle with chicken-or-beef in one hand and no inkling of your requested special entree? By the time you (and everyone else on board) is ready to eat, it might be too late for the crew to locate and bring you what you reserved. Verify upon check-in or baggage drop that you will be served the special meal(s) you requested.

The airline’s cold breakfast — possibly the most straightforward meal you’ll eat on your entire trip.

November 16, 2013 by Rita Hypnarowski

How to Prepare an Emergency Medical Contact Card Before You Go Abroad

If you’ve ever had to visit an ER or doctor in another country, you know how critical it is to have an emergency medical card, and several supplemental documents, with you at all times (or at least in your hotel room). Some of this medical and personal information seems pointless to write down since you can reel it off the top of your head, but most of it isn’t — and you don’t want to be kicking yourself for not having the contact info you need when you’re ill or injured so far from home.

Your emergency medical card (or page, printout, etc.) and supplemental info should include your critical health and personal data, and definitely not be left to the last minute since it can take surprisingly long (as in, upwards of eight hours!) to gather and list all the information. Sound boring and tedious to put together? It is — but hopefully the following can help.

Your card should include the names, phone numbers, and addresses or email addresses for the following:

1. Family member or close contact remaining at home;

2. Your doctor at home, your pharmacy, and your health care provider;

3. Travel insurance (and any medevac insurance) information;

4. Place(s) of lodging at your destination;

5. The U.S. Embassy or consulate in your destination country;

6. A list of your medications, including generic and brand names, reason for taking each, dosage information, and how often taken;

7. All medical conditions or allergies you have; and

8. Documentation of any immunizations required by the country you’re visiting.

Items to attach or keep with this card include:

1. A copy of your medical insurance card (keep the original in your wallet);

2. At least one insurance claim form (note that you shouldn’t have to navigate through the member services department of your HMO to get insurance claim forms; the travel clinic should carry them);

3. A signed letter from your physician describing your general medical condition(s), and all current medications;

4. The list of urgent care services and doctors that you have researched in each country (or, more likely, had your physician or travel agent research for you); and, if you’re traveling off the beaten tourist track:

5. The name of any medication conditions, and medications, written in the local languages of the areas you plan to visit. For translation services, try asking your travel clinic first since your main care practitioner may not know where to send you within your HMO or PPO. Note that it’s unwise to use a free online translation service since the software may misunderstand (or not understand at all) complex medical and technical terms and any abbreviations.

Keep the card and all supplemental documents somewhere where they won’t get wet or stolen (to be on the safe side, include one copy in your purse or smaller bag, and one in your checked luggage). Tell anyone traveling with you about the card and supplements, and their location(s).

While you’re busy compiling all this information, don’t forget to fill out the page inside your passport with the name, address, and telephone number of someone to be contacted in an emergency (you’d be amazed at how many people forget to do this).

Finally, before you go, be sure to register your destination countries, visit dates, and hotel addresses in your country’s traveler enrollment program. For Americans, this would be the U.S Embassy’s STEP (Smart Traveler Enrollment Program) system at https://step.state.gov/step/. If you do need urgent assistance from an embassy, STEP will already have your basic information on file.

Canadians should go to http://travel.gc.ca/travelling/registration, U.K. citizens should go to https://www.gov.uk/browse/abroad/travel-abroad, and Australians should go to https://www.orao.dfat.gov.au/orao/weborao.nsf/Homeform?Openform .

Prepare your card BEFORE your trip — and not while you’re killing time on the train!

November 10, 2013 by Rita Hypnarowski

Phobias vs. Fears: Which Control us More?

At some point in our lives, most of us will develop a phobia. Some of us will develop a few of them, actually. Phobias come in so many forms, and many of them are so common, that most of us don’t have a problem talking about them — and they kind of ride along with us through life, like a minor sore on the back of our head. We even joke about phobias; they’ve become part of the popular culture. Claustrophobia. Agoraphobia. Arachnophobia. Many of us would rather talk in terms of “our phobias” instead of “our fears” or “our anxiety.” Phobias, being very specific in nature, usually have a good justification — something that most people can relate to and talk about without needing (or wanting) to go into three hours of miserable backstory of how they “got this way.” I have a real phobia about… yes, that just sounds so much healthier to describe the things that, well, freak us out.

Can you name your phobia(s)? Probably. But can you name all your fears? That’s undoubtedly a longer list. We develop fears before we can even spell the word, after all. And fear is an overused word. I fear this, I fear that. Technically speaking, “fear” is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. An emotion. Interesting. So what exactly, is a phobia?

Well, there are lots of long-winded definitions. But a phobia is basically a fear that impairs your life. Your unpleasant emotion had mushroomed into an aversion.

If you fear something, you can do it, see it, or live with it anyway. If you have a phobia about something… you can’t. You avoid it at all costs, even if you know you’re overreacting.

So would you still rather talk about your phobias than your fears?

The fact is, we can function just fine through life with a phobia or two. We can also live normal lives with a number of fears. But how do we tell when a particular growing fear has become a phobia? When does that fear lead to a condition where we’re shutting down a small part of our life — or making our lives more difficult?

I knew a woman from Toronto who wouldn’t drive at night, for any reason. She had to travel back and forth to Miami a lot for her job, and one fall afternoon her flight got delayed and she landed in Toronto at 7:30 pm. It was a calm, dry evening, and she was staring at her car in the lot, debating. She just had to drive to her small farm about 55 miles outside the city — a route that she knew well. Could she do it? No. She wasn’t even thinking about what had caused her fear, and eventually her phobia: a friend hitting an animal at midnight some years ago, and waking up in a ditch paralyzed. All this woman could think was: NIGHT: DRIVE: NO. Could she have taken a cab? You bet. But she walked to the nearest airport hotel, and put herself up for the night. Did this woman have a phobia?

I’ll compare her to a guy I sat next to on a flight from Casablanca to Lisbon last month. He was originally from Mali, mid-20s, loved to fly — and could tell me everything about the Boeing 767 we were on, bragging about the safety features as if he’d designed them himself. He admitted, though, that he had a real “hang-up” with flying over populated areas, and explained that’s why he loved our particular flight — because it was “all ocean.” I had to inform him that no, we were going to fly — pretty low, I might add — over the entire city of Lisbon before landing. He didn’t believe me until we blazed right over the Ponte 25 de Abril bridge, close enough to tell SUVs from cars.

Well, this guy went into a bit of a panic. Switching seats with me, so he could be in the aisle seat, didn’t help. But what could he do? Nothing, except live through his phobia, and wait for the plane to not suddenly clip a building or a power line. I thought about how, sometimes, not knowing everything about what we’re going to do is sometimes good, because you can end up looking your phobia right down the throat before you’re wound up in that anticipatory dread that helped turn the f-word into your aversion in the first place.

I didn’t tell the man this. I asked him to think about what our plane must look like to the people on the bridge, and the roads leading to the airports. Some of them had to fear that our plane would crash, inexplicably, into their paths, and end their ultimate journey. But they were still driving down there, even though there were plenty of places to pull over. They weren’t stopping.

October 16, 2013 by Rita Hypnarowski

Special Photo Essay: How Stress Affects the Way We See Places

It’s no secret that stress and anxiety affect how you perceive your environment — particularly when you’re somewhere unfamiliar. Your surroundings can look blurry, distorted, dull, glassy, and just plain intimidating when you’re nervous and overwhelmed. The question is, just how different do things look when you’re under stress?

While in Istanbul a couple weeks ago, I stayed down the hall from a woman who didn’t leave her hotel room for two days because her journey was “just too much” and “not what she was expecting.” She looked like she wanted to fall asleep in her bathtub with a good book and a glass of wine, and forget all the “adventures” just outside her door. What did she — and other nervous travelers out there — see that others didn’t? Here’s an exploration — and a reminder that our mind creates our own reality.

1. People with a fear of flying can feel lightheaded and suffer blackouts, particularly during landing and take-off. The world below can look dark and out of focus. The reality? Your plane window isn’t that dirty — and although it’s a lot to take in, that wonderful first view will be one of your longest-lasting memories.

2. Surrounded by strangers and unfamiliar skylines, we may not get the full detail in front of us even if our vision is 20/20. Why? Our minds tend to “blur things out” to protect us from sensory overload.

3. We tend to view people and our surroundings in more simplistic terms when we don’t understand the culture of the place we’re visiting. Even though we know it’s not accurate, we can see only the outlines and colors of the unfamiliar instead of “the full picture.”

4. Buildings we’ve never seen before can be intimidating and look distorted to us, while strangers may seem larger than life.

5. We can struggle to bring even the most relaxing scenes into focus, and see only a clutter of dark objects in our ship’s path.

6. We may be oblivious to detail even in less distracting environments — and may barely notice the sun shining down on us.

7. Exotic locales can have a two-dimensional, mottled quality to them, like something we saw in a book long ago — and not quite real in front of us.

8. We can revert to tunnel vision, especially when we see something that looks too precarious to be true.

9. When we’re a bit turned around getting back to the hotel, we can literally feel pushed back or pulled forward by our surroundings — and we don’t even notice our reliable landmark in the distance.

10. If just being at the airport stresses you out, you may see a tube of dread waiting out on the tarmac instead of the full picture.

11. Know you have a stunning view outside your window? Look too hard, and you’ll see yourself staring back; relax, and you’ll be floating above the clouds.

October 7, 2013 by Rita Hypnarowski

How Your Vacation Can Change Your Beliefs and Attitudes in Unexpected (and Sometimes Stressful) Ways

What’s that rumbling sound you hear when you’re sitting on the tarmac of an airport thousands of miles from home as your trip draws to a close? Sometimes it’s not just the plane engines firing up. It’s your thoughts swirling, and perhaps even grinding, grating, and crashing right into beliefs you’ve had for years as you have a chance to put into perspective everything you saw and did on your trip — and what you discovered about how others live in another culture. It may be hard to comprehend, but for something that lasted only about two or three weeks, a vacation can have a tremendous influence on some of your most long-standing and innate beliefs.

These are not necessarily things we feel comfortable thinking about, or discussing with others — which makes them all the more important since they can cause you stress if you ignore them. Here are some deeper issues many travelers struggle with at the end of (and well after) their trip that can have a significant impact on their psyche. Chances are you may grapple with some of the same thoughts.

About religion. Every year thousands of people convert to a different religion — from Islam to Christianity, from Christianity to Islam, from Christianity or Islam to Buddhism, from any of the above to atheism or agnosticism, etc. Many people make this conversion after visiting a country whose religious following is different from their own. Does that mean you will? Probably not, but that doesn’t mean you won’t experience a change in your thoughts about the afterlife after visiting a place like The Vatican, Tehran, Jerusalem, and any other number of places.

Having these feelings can cause you anxiety depending on your religious upbringing and the attitudes of your family members (and even your friends). Acknowledging that you could have some significant doubts, inspirations, or personal questions after your trip can make it easier for you to address them in the coming weeks or months and move forward on your personal and spiritual journey.

About race. Want to hear a sad story? I had a friend who wasn’t racist until he started traveling. Going from country to country, he said, and having what he perceived to be negative experiences in developing countries, helped him see “the bell curve” and people “in their proper place”, i.e., how important it was that people had their own culture within their own borders. Is my friend still traveling? More than ever — and I hope I don’t run into him somewhere.

Most people become even more tolerant after they’ve been abroad and seen other branches of the human family; very few become prejudiced, or more prejudiced. The vast majority of us will spend some time thinking about how we’re all different, how and why there’s been so much racism in the past, and what the picture of racial harmony could like like in the future.

About the importance of money. Did you travel through impoverished villages on your trip, and have the time of your life exploring and meeting the residents? Alternatively, are you a middle-class traveler who lived like a king or queen for a couple weeks in a developing country, simply because you could afford it? Doing either can significantly change your perspective on what’s in your wallet, how much you think you need to lead a happy life, and what you do with your finances in the future.

About the future. Many people feel an overwhelming sense of hope and awe over the promise of the future after they’ve been abroad. In so many ways, humanity leaps forward every year in terms of quality of life, tolerance, development, progression, and pure inspiration and creativity.

Depending on their travel experiences, others can dwell on the more negative aspects of the human race — yes, how greedy and self-absorbed we are, how much environmental damage we’re causing, how a major world war could be coming within our lifetime, how likely there is to be a major epidemic, etc.

You shouldn’t be surprised if you experience all of the above thoughts, hopes, and fears about the future on the same flight home. We’re all constantly dealing with the balance of good and bad, hope and pessimism, and of course, change. Travel is synonymous with change. How it changes you is up to you — just don’t let it cause you a lot of stress.

New perspectives don’t always come beautifully framed — but travel always helps us see life in a different light

September 29, 2013 by Rita Hypnarowski

Traveler’s OCD: A Real Issue, and What to Do About it

Do you consider yourself mentally healthy, but find that you do the following types of things when you travel?:

Checking several times to make sure that you still have your passport, that you have all your belongings, that your hotel door is locked, etc.
Counting people going by, particularly when you’re waiting for someone or something
Needing to leave the hotel room in just a certain way before you leave for the day
Repeating directions or instructions (to or from your destination) over and over in your head
Reaching for the hand sanitizer a few more times a day than is really necessary

Many people who don’t suffer from clinical Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) experience some obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior when under the stress of travel. We all know that there are a lot of opportunities to lose things, forget things, miss departures, and make numerous other mistakes when we move around in an unfamiliar environment — and that these mistakes can cause us some fairly large problems during our journey. The fear of making these mistakes causes people to develop “Traveler’s OCD.”

If you have a perfectionist or “Type A” personality and are prone to being distracted from your immediate environment, some compulsive activities that you do in order to avoid making mistakes can really affect your enjoyment of a trip. Fortunately, there are choices you can make about how and where you travel that will prevent your tics from flaring up — and from attracting attention from fellow travelers who are as laid back as they are when drifting around their own house!

Choose a smaller hotel room. A smaller room means fewer places to put things, which means you won’t spread out as much, and are less likely to leave something behind (or worry about leaving something behind). Stay in a suite and you have more windows, faucets, doors, etc. to think about checking before you leave every day, and far more crevices, nooks, crannies, etc. to worry about losing or misplacing something.

Use a compartmentalized travel day bag or purse. If you have a specific place for everything in your bag, then taking a quick check (and not four, accompanied by a considerable amount of rummaging) can ensure that everything is in its place. Travel with a gunny sack and you’ll make yourself miserable (not to mention give yourself a couple of scares if you distractedly slip your wallet into a rarely used jacket pocket instead of your bag).

Recognize that you have a finite amount of energy. The urge to double- and triple-check things can grow with a life of its own depending on what you’re preoccupied with, and how much stress you’re under. Traveling takes a lot of energy, and mistakes can compound faster than you can count the number of people ahead of you in the currency exchange line. If you check your bag several times to make sure you still have your camera, for example, you could miss your bus going by, with a string of potential consequences from there.

Understand how and when you contract a virus. This might sound like an odd suggestion, but plenty of people slather on the hand sanitizer upwards of a dozen times a day out of fear of getting ill and ruining their vacation. In general, remember that you get sick when you spread germs by touching your eyes, nose, or mouth, and when you breathe next to someone who’s ill. If you can be better about keeping your hands away from your face, and keeping a good personal distance from others, you’ll be a lot less likely to get ill — and only need to use the sanitizer before you eat, wash your face back at your hotel, etc.

Get enough sleep. When you’re exhausted, you’re more likely to make mistakes and be forgetful, which can send your Traveler’s OCD into overdrive since you might actually leave something behind, or neglect to do something.

Consider your environment. Some hotels have such formulaic, cold, and repetitive decor that it’s almost as if someone designed them to make you feel neurotic and start counting the tiles down the hallway. Go for a place with more character and novelty, individual furnishings, and a homey atmosphere, and you’ll feel more relaxed.

Finally, places that have a fixation on quantities — like casinos and mega malls — are more likely to bring out your type-A tendencies than natural environments like parks and beaches. Also, consider that sites and attractions featuring supernatural or religious phenomena (such as the belief that repeating the same proclamations over and over will help keep evil away) are not the best for your mental health. Could you find a less anal-retentive activity to enjoy? You might end up spending more money elsewhere, but at least you won’t fall asleep that night thinking about the number 6 or 13, or how often you’re blinking.
Don’t worry, counting your money once or twice on your trip doesn’t count as obsessive or compulsive.